“L.A. Streetfighters” DVD Quiz Game

Weirdly, this craptastic film has a mini quiz you can play after the movie. Sort of like a comprehension test. The movie is horrible, but the multiple choice quiz almost makes it worth it.

Hello, schlock consumer. Are you ready to play a game?

Gotta love the screenshot.

Hurray! You got the answer, but do you feel anything?

This one makes me mad, because it was the wrong answer. Only three brain-stumping questions and the DVD can’t even get them all correct. Lack of quality, plain and simple.

I mentioned this earlier.

The Amazing Movie Mash Up Game 2

• Remember when we did this? The Amazing Movie Mash Up Game? You know the rules, but here’s how Dave started us off:

  “Let’s play a game. Combine movie titles and their plots! For example 301 Dalmatians: A small group of dogs must defend themselves against an invading Persian army that wants to use their spotted coats to make clothes. Or I Spit on Your Grave of the Fireflies: Orphaned after the bombing of Hiroshima, a young boy and his infant sister maim and torture the American soldiers responsible for killing their parents.”

  This time maybe wasn’t quite as classy and epic as its original incarnation, but like all worthy sequels it offers new things for hungry appetites.

  David Halberstadt – Ocean’s Thirteen Assassins: Thirteen thieves, led by a battle-worn samurai, go through a series of complicated twists and turns in order to kill the evil casino owner who betrayed their friend.

  Hannah – Seven Brides for Seven Samurai: Warriors kidnap promising young women from a mountain village. They sing, they fight, they burn things down. Only three of the marriages last more than a few days.

  Chris – Forrest on Fire: Forrest Gump: mentally handicapped ex special-ops, takes on the role as the personal driver for a wealthy family’s six-year-old girl in corrupt Mexico City. When the girl is kidnapped for ransom, Forrest goes on a killing spree, hunting down each person responsible.

  Gregory – The Assassination of Jesse James and the Giant Peach: Trying to escape the tyranny of his two wicked aunts, a wanted bank robber decides to escape to New York City in an over-sized piece of fruit.

  Daros – I Know What You Did Last Samurai: Four teenagers attempting to cover up a hit-and-run escape to Japan to train an Imperial Army. They join up with the Samurai villagers and learn about their traditions and codes in a race to figure out who’s killing them off one by one.

  David Halberstadt – The Matrix Step Up Revolutions: Neo must face an army of land developing robots in an epic dance-off for the fate of humanity.

  David Halberstadt – The Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World is Not Enough: In 1805, a young man just out of the Royal Navy, seeking direction in his life, joins a cult led by a mysterious man who cannot feel pain.

  Allison – Battle Casino Royale: A kidnapped group of Japanese schoolchildren must face off against the world’s wealthiest poker players in a gory televised event where the goal is to avoid being slaughtered by your machete-wielding friends long enough to play one final game of Texas hold’em.

  Andrew Bowcock  – The Jungle 2 Jungle Book of Eli: Tim Allen finds out he has a son named Mowgli (played daringly by Mila Kunis) from the tropics, but when he arrives to retrieve his son he must become mankind’s only hope for surviving the post-apocalypse from marauders and a crazy Gary Oldman. Also, he carries a bible (or something like that) around.

  Kevin – Singin’ In The Rain Man: Selfish yuppie Charlie Babbitt’s cannibal savant brother swallows three classic era Hollywood movie stars whole. They attempt to make the transition to talking pictures while inside his belly.

  Andrew Bowcock – Horton Hears a Doctor Who Framed Roger Rabbit Hole: a giant elephant with keen auditory senses picks up on the screams of a dying society (or so he thinks) — which turns out to be just the roaring of the Tardis as the Doctor arrives, placed in a fake scandal with Jessica Rabbit, in order to get close to the foul play surrounding the case of Roger Rabbit. As it turns out, the discovery of genocide of the ‘toons results in the tragic collateral death of a young boy, whose mother Becca (Nicole Kidman), becomes a candidate for Doctor’s new companion, as her son’s death may wreak havoc upon the fabric of the universe.

  Dan  –Secondhand Lion King Kong: An awkward teenager goes to live with his two uncles after his father Mufasa is killed in a freak wildebeest accident caused by a gigantic, power-hungry gorilla.

  Burrello Submarine – XXXcalibur: Vin Diesel is an extreme sports athlete who must take the council of the wise Merlin to embrace his destiny and become a government agent of the knights of the round table.

  Burrello Submarine – Alice: Woody Allen directs this nightmarish stop-motion comedy about a horse skull attached to a miniature hansom cab who visits a stuffed rodent who changes her perespective on life. Neurotic nonsense ensues.

  Burrello Submarine – Swimming Pool with Sharks to Cambodia: A sexy crime drama about a naive temp and his sadistic sociopathic publisher in Hollywood enacted entirely by Spalding Grey alone at a desk.

  Dan – Dunston Checks Inception: An orangutan causes hijinks in a fancy hotel, only to discover that a rival is attempting to break into his subconscious.

  Kris  – Die Hard Days Night of the Living Dead: While attempting to escape from the throngs of obsessive Los Angeles fans, Four “Moptop Kids From Liverpool” take shelter in the Nakatomi B.

  Burrello Submarine – Don’t be a Dennis the Fantômas Tollbooth Menace to Southland Tales from the Crypt Central While You Were Drinking Your Beetlejuice in the Boyz n the Leprechaun in the Robin Hood Mystery Men in Tights: the Wayans Brothers play misfit superheroes in this send up of the classic Hank Ketchum adaptation of the original Mel Brooks 1913 version of the first Star Wars prequel based on the popular horror comic book series that was later adapted into a cryptic science fiction fable about the end of the world wherein the ghost with the most grows up on the mean streets of an animated limerick-filled Los Angeles while it is plagued by a malevolent Irish imp in a coma. It’s silent, but in French.

  Kris – The Importance of Being Ernest Goes to Jailhouse Rock: In a modern take on the Oscar Wilde classic, Jim Varney reprises his classic role of Ernest P. Worrell in a film that sees everyone’s favorite accident prone yokel nearly destroy the Broadway adaptation of ‘Jailhouse Rock’ when he leaves the show’s lead, the world’s greatest Elvis impersonator, in traction. Facing both lawsuits and jail time, Ernest’s only option is to take on the role with just over a week before opening night.

  Burrello Submarine – That’s My Boy in the Plastic Bubba Hotel Rwanda: a geriatric Adam Sandler thinks he’s Elvis and must reunite with his son, John Travolta, who suffers from a rare disease that relegates him to a life inside an oxygen tent while an evil Pharaoh’s ghost persecutes the Tutsis.

  David Halberstadt – Metetropolis: Francis Ford Coppola directs this touching sci-fi drama film about a man who finds his long lost brother’s play and decides to stage it using human-like robots but the working class citizens rebel and the opening night is a disaster.

  Dan – Good Will Hunting for Red October Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Never Dies: A janitor at Harvard University is discovered to be a secret genius who left his small, West Virginia coal mining town to build rockets and futuristic war machines. He is then recruited by MI6 to locate a Soviet submarine. He finds the sub, ends the war, and scores a beautiful woman’s phone number.

  Andrew Bowcock – The Dark City Knight Rises of the Planet Terror of the Apes: Bruce Wayne wakes up in a strange tub, only to discover that an alien race is experimenting on people researching  intelligent apes who in turn retaliate against their captors by becoming zombies. The alpha-male ape (Bane) is one strong, scary SOB.

  David Halberstadt – Batman and Robin Returns Forever: Batman battles villains who get progressively sillier as the movie goes on. Robin joins up with The World’s Greatest Detective but the effect of everybody’s cartoonish wackiness begins to rub off on The Dark Knight as he struggles to hold on to the last shred of dignity he has left. But an even darker enemy looms. One who could break The Caped Crusader’s back for at least eight years: The Bat Nipples.

  Burrello Submarine – Just Because of My Winnipeg Dixie: a precocious pooch’s charms lead to murder in the deep south. Now Sean Connery must film his way out of the saddest city in Canada in time to solve the crime in this ripoff of “Cape Fear.”

  Kris  – End of Days of Thunderballs of Fury: Tom Cruise reprises his role as hotheaded driver Cole Trickle, who along with his car’s Owner (Sean Connery), Crew Chief (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and Childhood Friend/Pit Crewman (Dan Fogler) are forced to compete in the world’s most deadly Stock Car Race/Ping-Pong Match for the fate of the world against International Supervillain, Thunderballs (Christopher Walken), who gained his power after striking a deal with Satan (Tom Jones*).

  David Halberstadt – No Country for Grizzly Old Children of Men: In a world where women have become infertile and all hope for a future has been lost, Timothy Treadwell takes it upon himself to protect the first baby born in over 20 years but he soon finds himself on the run from the evil Chigurh who chases them across Texas. Ironically, the very baby that he was protecting kills Treadwell in a climactic gun battle… that happens entirely off-screen.

  David Halberstadt – Murderballs of the Fast and the Furious: In this inspiring documentary, a police detective must go undercover to infiltrate a dangerous gang of wheelchair-bound ping-pong players to uncover their secret operation and get revenge on the man who crippled his own father.

  David Halberstadt – 50/50 Shades of the Grey: A young woman falls in love with a cancer-stricken wolf in the Alaskan wilderness. They have weird, kinky sex and discuss their differing viewpoints on death.

  Abe – About a OldBoy: Hugh Grant stars in this heartwarming comedy about a man who spends his days locked in his room watching television, but when a kid enters his life, he learns to live outside the room and eat live squid.

  Burrello Submarine – Like Practical Magic Mike: outcast witches develop a spell that will make their murderous ventriloquist dummy (played by Lil’ Bow Wow) stop stripping and play basketball really well so they can find love and kill Burgess Meredith all whilst wetting the theater seats.

  Andrew Bowcock – Something’s Gattaca Give: A biologically superior Jack Nicholson’s mid-life crisis reaches its peak when he re-connects with his genetically mundane younger brother who prevents him from getting laid and going into space.

  Burrello Submarine – Dirty Dancing Harry and the Henderson Potter: the Spanish The Prisoner of Zenda: someone thinks retired secret agent bigfoot looks just like a strange royal so they con him into becoming a cop, but dad won’t let him dance.

  Andrew Bowcock – FitzCarsaldo: A wealthy, hot-shot, opera-obsessed anthropomorphic car gets fed up with his boring peers and convinces jungle natives to help him drag his ship over a hill so he can avoid some dangerous rapids up ahead. He gets a flat tire in the process.

  Andrew Bowcock – MatchPointStick Men Who Stare at Goats in Black Swan Narcissus: An OCD con-man takes up tennis in England, contemplating the murder of his secret lover’s significant other. In order to get away with the crime with ease, he receives training from army vets who claim to have paranormal powers. Meanwhile, his lover (a schizophrenic ballet dancer) grows increasingly paranoid, and decides to skip town and join a convent in the Himalayas, but that goes terribly wrong and leads to her suicide.

  Nate – A Clockwork Orange County: An overachieving high schooler mistakenly enlists in an ultra-violence gang.

  Nate – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Duckling: An emotionally abused swan joins with a posse of outlaws searching for Confederate gold.

  Nate – The Emerald Forrest Gump: A mentally challenged war veteran is abducted by an aboriginal tribe on the edge of an Amazon rainforest. His love, Jenny, spends the next 10 years searching for him.

  Nate – The Shawshank Raid: Redemption (A SWAT team becomes entrapped in a high security penitentiary full of decent, patient men.

  Nate – Se7en Brides for Seven Brothers: A group of singing backwoodsman are hunted by a religiously motivated serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his inspiration.

  Burrello Submarine – The Pink Cadillac Man Who Fell from Deep Rising River Runs Through It Came from Outer Space from Earth Girls are Easy A Night at the Phantom of the Operation: Endgame to Remember the Titans A. E.: Lost horny aliens are stranded and trying to fix their spaceship, but they need to sell 12 cars to an integrated high school football team who are also cannibals. When the Marx Brothers sink the Titanic on it’s maiden voyage to Montana it’s up to aliens to spread rumors in school to figure out which one of their corporation’s employees is betraying everyone to a tough bail bondsman. The irony is that the aliens started the corporation. As the ship sinks a ravenous monster begins devouring the passengers. Also Earth is destroyed in the beginning.

  Burrello Submarine – The Descent of a Woman in Lizard’s Skin I Live in Fear In: a blind Al Pacino, deathly afraid of an impending nuclear war, takes his Italian family into cave where he dreams he surgically replicates his dead wife out of cave-dwelling mutants.

  Burrello Submarine – The Bridge Too Far on the River Kwaidan: Sean Connery tries to stop Alec Guinness from committing suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge replica he built in WWII Germany by telling him ghost stories.

  David Halberstadt – Susturbira: A teenager under house arrest spies on a neighboring ballet school and witnesses a horrible, brightly colored murder. He soon suspects that the school is actually run by a coven of witches.

  Burrello Submarine – And the Band’s Visit Played Onibaba the Silverado Globe: gay Egyptian cowboys in haunted space Poland get lost and have to live several generations before AIDS finally kills the demon possessed Israeli mask. Also Kevin Costner plays a Japanese guy.

  David Halberstadt – New Year’s Valentine’s Day: A bunch of actors you know hang out and get paychecks.

  Burrello Submarine – Lawnmower Man with the Golden Gunga Din-dza-dzatoichi: the Blindside Swordsmanitou: James Bond is stranded on a racist planet that doesn’t see an Indian waterboy as an equal so he corrects their misconception by tormenting them with a centuries old sword-wielding Native American spirit he captures in virtual reality. Can he get back to Moscow in time for the swashbuckling finale?

  David Halberstadt – My Neighbor Totorobocop: Two young girls move to Detroit and have adventures with a robotically enhanced police officer.

  Burrello Submarine – Everything Putney Swope Together: when her baby dies the CEOs ironically hires her to run the company, but her black American ideas tainted by her recent loss swiftly change the tone of network television.

  Burrello Submarine – The Shadow Warriors of Virtue of the Interview with a Vampire Batman Return to Rhinoceroz: Bruce Wayne hires a destitute Alec Baldwin (with an uncanny resemblance to the Caped Crusader) to take his place not realizing he is the Shadow and also requires human blood to live. Dwight Frye plays a persecuted simpleton who gets trapped in a film world somewhere over the rainbow where perfectly ordinary people are transforming into cantankerous pachyderms in an unwieldy flashback social satire about kangaroo ninjas.

  David Halberstadt – Baby’s Grand Blow Out of the African Villiage Queen of the Damned: After her baby is kidnapped on the moon, and with only a sound recording as evidence of an inside job, a plantation owner hires a surly boat captain to track her baby to a small town filled with alien children who play vampire-raising rock music.

  David Halberstadt – There Will Be Blood Diamonds are Forever Young Gunzatoichi: the Blind Swordsman Who Wasn’t There Will Be Blood: Prospector Daniel Plainview finds an immaculate diamond and special agent James Bond, who has recently awoken from a 50 year cryogenic sleep, must enlist the help of Billy the Kid to protect the diamond from a murderous cult of telepathic aliens, led by the blind barber and prospector Daniel Plainview… …

  Andrew Bowcock – The Rescuers Falling Black Hawk Downfall Underworld: Two adventurous mice think their albatross friend is bringing them to Australia, but it turns out he’s a disgruntled middle-aged bird on the edge of sanity, and ends up crash landing in Somalia where after surviving a bloody firefight they all encounter a goofy submarine crew who turns out to be a secret vampire society harboring Hitler.

  David Halberstadt – The Moone: Sam Rockwell plays a lone astronaut working on the moon. He is nearing the end of his three year job but it turns out that he is not alone. He discovers that another version of himself has come from an alternate dimension to kill him so he can absorb his energy and grow stronger.

  Burrello Submarine – Used Cars Too Mr. Wong Foo Thanks for Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sexy Beast of Yucca Flatland That Time Machine Forgotten Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams That All That Money Can Good-Buy Mr. Chipsmunks: a cryptic and violent anime documentary that takes place in a dinosaur and Nazi-filled future in a lesser dimension about a radioactive Ben Kingsley that terrorizes three drag queens after they make a deal with the devil to explain their nightmares regarding a Chinese Boris Karloff selling secret agent automobiles while their rodent trio counterparts reflect back on their years as they approach retirement and end their lives as ejaculate.

  Burrello Submarine – Schindler’s Lisztomania: a sexually charged psychedelic retelling of the courageous acts of a horny musician in Nazi Germany.

  Burrello Submarine – Howard the Westworld Duck Soup was Wonderful Life of Piano Tuner of Earthquantum of Solaris Stood Still Smokin Aces Ventura: When Harry Foxy and the Brown Met Salem’s the Lottery Ticket, Take the Moneyball and Blade Running Manhattan Murder by Death Becomes Her Mystery Science Theater 301 Birth of a Dalmational Lampoonmee Who can Totall Recall His Blast from the Past Tree of Life of Timothy the Big Soylent Green Mile You were Sleeper Hollow Man with the Golden Children of the Damned Pride of the Yankees Largo Western the Front Christmas Mr. Hugo’s 2 Holidays in Paris, Texas of Thunder-the-Birds Are Gone Fishin’ with the Wind: A wise-cracking cocaine-addicted space waterfowl who is also a vampire, recently appointed head of state, is sentenced to a life in prison (for pecking children at a birthday party) by a racist judicial system of Jewish mathematicians on Christmas Eve. He befriends a large, gentle Thai gentleman who is magic and likes to mock schlocky movies. His aging silent mentor proves he can still stick it to the man as long as they are only automata replicants who may or may not be secret agents. Gort must wander through the wilderness to convince his wife living in black and white New York City that she is no longer living underground with robot cowboys who can’t dream about life in the Civil War south. Alone on a boat with only a tiger and a bilingual Lou Gehrig, cannibal soccer player Chevy Chase must lose the lottery to stay alive or come back as a host to haunt marching band cellist, Bruce Willis, who is plagued by memories of an overbearing father who came from the garden. An invisible African horseman with no head makes racial stereotypes of the Senate on a daytrip to the beach before attacking Persia against the council of shell-shocked WWI vets who stalk Georges Melies from future LA Chinatown. Meanwhile a subterranean death tournament wherein an astronomical number of spotted pure-bred gangster puppies must survive a typhoon and overcome hallucinations surrounding past lovers who formerly starred in Lethal Weapon II-IV. And a racecar driving cowboy Eddie Murphy uses computers to prove that you can in fact have sex with marionettes and still be friends.

  Burrello Submarine – Mosquito Ghost Rider: after a horrific accident Harrison Ford rides a motorcycle to South America where he tries to construct a giant ice machine to keep his skull from continuously catching fire.

  Burrello Submarine – The Motorcycle Diaries of a Mad Anne Frank Woman: Tyler Perry presents the true story about Che Guevara rescuing Anne Frank and then riding around on bikes deciding what life is really about.

  Burrello Submarine – The Great White Noises Off: Michael Keaton is an African American boxer whose in-the-ring persona is comically at odds with who he is behind the scenes. Also ghosts.

   Burrello Submarine – Angel Heart of Glass: Robert de Niro is hypnotized into thinking he is Satan. As a result of this movie Bill Cosby never speaks with Werner Herzog again.

  Burrello Submarine – Captain Horatio 400 Hornblows: a troubled youngster embarks on a high seas adventure of petty thievery during the Napoleonic Wars.

  Burrello Subamarine – The Secret Window of Walter Mitty’s Arietty Garden: in a chilly English castle, orphan Danny Kaye daydreams he is haunted by a rogue band of diminuative people who accuse him of stealing their story about the Laws of Attraction.

  Burrello Submarine – The Abduction of Zach and Miri Make a Big Green Porno: amateurish juvenile soccer player and secret agent, Taylor Lautner, is kidnapped by an irrationally drawn Isabella Rosselini who insists on filming giant puppet bugs mating with the lad in order to make some extra cash before the big game.

  Burrello Submarine – Metropolistan: in a densely envisioned dystopic future a heavy science fiction epic parables the class divisions and the alienating treatment of workers in Weimar Republic Germany as realized by a bunch of preppies dressing in fancy clothes and talking to each other in different social settings.

  Burrello Submarine – Poprika: Robert Altman weirdly creates a Japanese animated musical about a beloved sailor man who gets trapped in a colorful dream world of Carrollian proportions.

  I got a little carried away. Also everyone else got bored with the game.

  Does anybody else wanna add some titles in the comments section??? Come at me, bra.

  Long live Movie Nerd-dom.

The Amazing Movie Mash Up Game

Frank posted a delectable challenge the other day. The challenge was this: “Let’s combine movie titles and their plots! Here’s a couple: 50 First Dates + 50/50 = 50/50 First Dates. A girl keeps forgetting she has cancer. Empire Strikes Back to the Future– In an attempt to find the rebel base on Hoth, Darth Vader accidentally travels back in time and must ensure that his father takes his mom to the slave prom. Ok you try it.”

This spawned a very long thread with many folks interacting. Here are the highlights.

• Frank – 300 Days of Summer: King Leonidas falls in love with a woman only to find out the romance isn’t all he thought it would be.
• Frank – Harry Potter and The Temple of Doom: Harry travels to India to find a magic stone hidden in an evil temple.
• Becky – Ironman in the Iron Mask.
• Daniel – The Hunger Hunger Games: Michael Fassbender competes to be the last person to die of starvation in an event run by the British government in order to punish the IRA for their rebellion.
• Thomas Lazo – The Magnificent Seven Samurai: a poor Japanese film studio hires elite swordsmen to defend their movies from being remade in America.
• Thomas Lazo – The Lion in Winter Light: King Henry deals with a crisis of faith after Prince Philip of France and Eleanor of Aquitane develop nuclear weapons.
• Thomas Lazo – Let it Be Cool: John Travolta tries to get the surviving Beatles to cameo on his movie in the hopes that it’ll make enough money opening weekend to save his career.
• Thomas Lazo – Do the Right The Thing: A group of african american scientists in the arctic try to avoid killing a monster that takes the form of the people it kills because it’s offensively stereotypical that the black characters die first.
• Thomas Lazo – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Walk with Me: Harry and Ron investigate the week leading up to the death of Cedric Diggory as Harry begins feeling phantom labor pains for his indwelling infant Voldemort horcrux while Hermione and an army of backward talking House elves find creatively erotic things to do with polyjuice potion and a collection of Dennis Hoppers toenail clippings in a house of mirrors.
• Andrew Bowcock – Air Force The One: President Jet Li has to protect his family and presidential cabinet on his plane from a group of alternate universe presidents mysteriously transported onto the plane in a freak science experiment.
• Andrew Bowcock – Dancer in the Dark City: Bjork is going blind and gets framed for murder, but by an alien race who controls the world around her. As she loses her vision, she starts to gain powers to change her surroundings; can she discover the whole truth before she completely loses her vision?
• Andrew Bowcock – Once Upon a Time in American Pie: A former Prohibition-era Jewish gangster returns to Brooklyn, where he reminisces about the time when he and a few gang buddies entered a pact to lose their virginity by prom night.
• Andrew Bowcock – Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead Alive: when two brothers organize the robbery of their parents’ jewelry store the job goes horribly wrong when one of them gets bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey and dies, then comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors.
• Thomas Lazo – Inception 2–They Shoot Horses Don’t They Shoot Horses Don’t They Shoot Horses Don’t They Shoot Horses Don’t They Shoot Horses Don’t They?: At a large dancing competition, a smaller dance evolves among several dancers which then leads to an even smaller group of dancers doing a new dance until all the dancers involve die and find out that the afterlife is a giant dancing competition.
• Thomas Lazo – To End all War of the Worlds: Aliens gather all movie directors in a concentration camp to stop future remakes of classic movies only to die after exposure to reality TV.
• Thomas Lazo – It’s Patton: Julia Sweeney stars as an androgynous WWII general who struggles to defeat Hitler while the media continually attempts to discover his/her gender.
• Thomas Lazo – Bridget Jones Diary of Anne Frank: An outrageous young woman takes on love, lingerie, losing weight, and ethnic cleansing as she decides between…ah screw this one, even I have standards.
• Burrello Submarine – The Last King Kong of Scotland: an eccentric giant gorilla leader is confronted on his tyranny when his British physician tries to gun him down with biplanes on top of the Uganda State Building.
• Burrello Submarine – The Taking of Pelham 123 Easy as ABC: when a prepubescent Michael Jackson takes a subway car hostage it’s up to Walter Matthau to get him to sing.
• Burrello Submarine – The Treasure of the Sierra Todo Sobre Mi Madre: following the death of her beloved son, Manuela embarks on a journey into the Mexican desert with a tight knit group of frustrated yet spunky transexuals to find gold. As greed overtakes one of their party they must come face to face with the elements, banditos, and rediscover what makes a she-man.
• Thomas Lazo – Dirty Harry Potter and the Half Blood Princess Bride of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man of La Mancha: Terry Gilliam is slated to direct this work in progress, but it is doubtful whether he will be able to come in under budget.
• BurrelloSumarine – Life Is a Beautiful Mind: a young boy and his father are taken to a concentration camp during WWII, fortunately the lad’s father’s schizophrenia gives them all a good laugh as his increasingly erratic antics boost morale and provide hope for all in even the most dire of circumstances.
• BurrelloSubmarine – The Adventures of the Rin-Tintin Drum: a young dog-boy with a precocious mind growing up in Germany in the 1930s decides he’s got a bit of a Peter Pan complex and so he joins forces with an aging alcoholic to unearth buried treasure in this black symbolic action satire that will be an adventure for the whole family.
• Burrello Submarine – Twelve Angry Monkeys: Bruce Willis must convince an exhausted jury that he can do things other than “Die Hard.”
• Burrello Sumarine – Get Him to the Zorba the Greek: Alan Bates must get a sloppy but lovable rockstar back to the island of Crete before his boss gets stoned to death.
• Andrew Bowcock – The Bridges of Madison County on the River Kwai: a National Geographic photographer wanders into the life of a lonely housewife who shows him the bridges he was meant to photograph, only to find that there appears to be more that wasn’t listed in his research…and then the Japanese military show up…and a couple of white guys underneath, what the hell?! Then: BOOM!!!
• Andrew Bowcock – Metropo-Schizopolis: in a dystopic future where human classes are separated by an entire layer of ground, Steven Soderbergh makes funny faces in a mirror and thinks he might have a doppelganger.
• Allfor – Schindler’s Bucket List: rich German Business man makes a deal with two sick elderly Jewish men, who have been best friends all their lives, agreeing to help keep them out of the concentration camps if they promise to write a list of things they have always wanted to do but never did and do them all before they die.
• David Halberstadt – UHF THX 1138: Weird Al Yankovic rebels against a totalitarian television corporation by buying a small TV station and airing porn.
• David Halberstadt – The Tree of Life Aquatic: Bill Murray descends into the deepest part of the sea and sees a bunch of weirdness he doesn’t understand while also thinking about growing up as Sean Penn.
• David Halberstadt – I’m Still Being There: a hilarious satire about Peter Sellers’ descent into mild retardation and his brief career as a rapper.
• Frank – The Return of the King’s Speech: 6 Hours of Elven speeches.
• Frank – The Empire of the Sun Strikes Back: Darth Vader goes after Christian Bale in WW2 China.
• Thomas Lazo – Boogie Nights in Rodanthe: A woman with a failing marriage meets a man in a cabin who shows her all kinds of neat tricks from the job he had in the 70s, somebody better call PETA.
• Frank – Stranger Than Pulp Fiction: Lowlifes and criminals have their lives narrated by an English woman.
• Thomas Lazo – Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Encounters of the Third Kind: after 9/11, conspiracy theorist Richard Dreyfuss embarks on a maniac journey to discover the extra terrestrial secrets behind Building 7.
• Thomas Lazo – Shaun of the Dead Poet’s Society: A charismatic English professor inspires a group of British friends to “seize the cricket bat” and not become a social zombie.
• Frank – Rocky V For Vendetta: Rocky Balboa dons a Guy Fawks mask and starts a war against a totalitarian state. Survivor does the soundtrack.
• Thomas Lazo – I Know Who Killed Me, Myself and Irene: Jim Carrey.
• Burrello Submarine – City of Godzilla: the atomic reptile moves to Brazil and tries to be a photographer but gets mixed up in a street gang and decides to trample Rio de Janiero instead.
• Frank – I Am Legend of the Guardians: Owls are the only thing left on earth after everyone becomes a zombie.
• Thomas Lazo – The Last Rocky Horror Picture Show: Cross dressing country boys come of age in a dying town in west Transylvania.
• Burrello Submarine – Videodromeo + Juliet: Baz Luhrman directs James Wood’s stomach vagina that recites the works of Shakespeare in a contemporary setting that satirizes cable television.
• Thomas Lazo – Purple Rain of Fire: Prince sexes up some dragons.
• David Halberstadt – No Country for Oldboy: after being locked in a trailer home for 15 years, Josh Brolin goes to Mexico, seeking vengeance while Tommy Lee Jones is sad.
• Burrello Submarine – Nanook of the North by Northwest: Alfred Hitchcock stages Eskimo footage on Mt. Rushmore.
• Thomas Lazo – The Jonas Brothers Karamazov Live in 3D: Three Russian scenester brothers debate the existence of God in front of an ampitheater of rabid 12 year old girls.
• Thomas Lazo – Pretty in Pink Flamingos.
• Andrew Bowcock – License to Kill a Mockingbird: James Bond is fired from MI:6, but finds that the only way he can stop the drug lord who tried to murder his friend is to become a lawyer in the Depression-era South and defend a black man against racism and an undeserved rape charge.
• Burrello Submarine – Black Paper Moon: a slick, dust-bowl conman reluctantly takes in a willful girl who is battling nightmarishly vivid hallucinations regarding female puberty in this plotless symbolic comedy arthouse family film for adults.
• Thomas Lazo – Aguirre–The Wrath of Kahn: On their mission to boldly go where no man has gone before Captain Kirk suspiciously starts killing off the crew of the Enterprise so they won’t steal his Aztec gold.
• Burrello Submarine – Dog Day of the Dolphin Afternoon: a bank heist—which is also a plot to assassinate the president—to get the money to get a sex change for talking dolphins goes horribly wrong.
• Thomas Lazo – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quest: Aliens typecast Alan Rickman twice.
• Burrello Submarine – The Bicycle Thief of Bagdad: a vibrant but depressing technicolor Italian neorealist fantasy epic.
• Andrew Bowcock – From Russia with Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Actually the Bomb: follows the lives various couples dealing with their love lives in loosely related tales all set during a frantic Christmas season in London, England. One tale follows James Bond, who ends up falling for a naive Russian beauty during an undercover mission — that mission is the final hope in a ploy that’s being manipulated by some of the world’s most powerful minds to prevent a worldwide nuclear meltdown.
• Thomas Lazo – ‎20,000 Leagues Under the Seabiscuit: An eccentric scientist forces his submarine captives to race sea horses.
• David Halberstadt – A Night to Remember the Titans: a recently desegregated school’s football team board the Titanic on their way to the championships and must work through their inherent racism to keep the ship afloat after it strikes an iceberg.
• Burrello Submarine – The Big Sleep Well: Philip Marlowe must unravel the mystery of how exactly Kurosawa is adapting Hamlet.
• Burrello Submarine – Helvetica Comes to Frogtown: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper must consider which font would be the most threatening to scare off mutant frog-people in this post-apocalyptic documentary.
• Thomas Lazo – Angels in American Pie: Kirk Cameron stars in this cautionary tale of 4 promiscuous teenagers who catch AIDS before prom.
• David Halberstadt – Midnight in Paris, Texas: a nostalgic young man finds himself magically transported to a small Texas town where he attempts to find and reconnect with his young son and Salvador Dali.
• Thomas Lazo – Little Orphan Annie Hall: Woody Allen adopts Diane Keaton, marries her, then divorces her.
• David Halberstadt – The Thin Red Shoes: a ballerina is sent to fight in World War II and through her dancing, inspires her platoon to whisper deep philosophical thoughts to themselves.
• Thomas Lazo – The Goodbye Girl With a Dragon Tattoo: A struggling young mother shares her apartment with a journalist whom she must save from a serial killer.
• Burrello Submarine – Twice Upon a Time After Time: using an animation technique called “lumage” producer George Lucas uses a time machine to stop Jack the Ripper from stealing a spring from the 1970s that will enable him to plant nightmare bombs all over Mary Steenburgen’s home. Lorenzo “Garfield” Music provides the voice of H. G. Wells.
• Burrello Submarine – The Bed-Sitting The Room: Tommy Wiseau stars in this dystopic absurdist science-fiction comedy of non-sequiturs about Englanders going about their lives after a nuclear explosion that is a direct result of Lisa cheating on Johnny.
• Andrew Bowcock – The Wild Strawberries Bunch at Heart: an old, psychopathic, southern Nicolas Cage reminisces about whether or not he’s wasted his life, which included participating in an outlaw gang causing several wild west massacres leaving very few alive.
• David Halberstadt – Girls Gone Wild Strawberries: an old man on a road trip to Cancun recalls the crazy partying days of his youth.
• Burrello Submarine – Rize of the Planet of the Apes: intellectually accelerated monkeys develop a new dance phenomena out of South Central LA. …wow that actually sounds really racist.
• Thomas Lazo – Can’t Hardly Wait Until Dark: Criminals terrorize blind high schoolers at a party.
• Thomas Lazo – Crazy Hearts Can’t Be Broken: An alcoholic country musician runs away from his band to join a circus where he jumps horses off of high dives and drinks himself blind.
• David Halberstadt – After Last Season of the Witch: Nicholas Cage dreams about fighting invisible witches with early 90s computer graphics… I think.
• Thomas Lazo – American Beauty and the Beast: A teenage girl lost in the forest tames Kevin Spacey’s violent heart with marijuana while Gaston videotapes plastic bags floating in the wind.
• David Halberstadt – Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Life of Brian: a man close to death is visited by his old disciples who once mistook him for the messiah.
• Burrello Submarine – Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded White Fang: when an obnoxious little boy day-dreams about going to jail in the Yukon he must befriend an abused dog-wolf to escape from an infantile luchador and his minions.
• Kris – The Lion King of Kong: A Fistfull of Quarters — Years after he has been banished from his homeland following the death of his father, an African lion returns home in order to claim his birthright; but in order to do so he must defeat his uncle in a game of Donkey Kong.
• Burrello Submarine – Sexy Beast of Yucca Flats: a grotesque and persistent radioactive British Soviet monster wanders around the desert trying to convince an ex gangster to go on one last heist.
• Burrello Submarine – Oliver Twister: a tornado unites a wide-eyed urchin with the family he always deserved.
• David Halberstadt – A Boy and His White Dog: in an apocalyptic wasteland, a racist talking dog hunts for bitches to have sex with and black people to kill.
• Kevin – Some Like it Hot Fuzz: When two musicians witness a mob hit, they flee to a small England town and disguise themselves as female police officers in order to solve mysteries and kick general ass.
• Burrello Submarine – Elephant Man Boy: a young and hideously deformed Indian boy becomes a helpful guide through the jungle to a British doctor with an existential crisis.
• Andrew Bowcock – Austin Powers: A Serious Man of Mystery: after no woman will sleep with him any longer, Austin realizes that his “mojo” is now useless, and his son’s Bar mitzvah becomes a microcosm for his meaningless existence.
• Burrello Submarine – Lost in Wild America: Albert Brooks and Jonathan Taylor Thomas star in this true-life saga about the Stouffer brothers finding their way through the country after their collective wife blows their nest-egg at Vegas.
• David Halberstadt – Black Black Sheep: a genetically mutated Chris Farley begins killing political candidates in New Zealand and it’s up to David Spade to stop him.
• Andrew Bowcock – Ghost World in the Shell: two “social outsider” cyborg girls have to choose between tracking down and destroying a dangerous hacker or just playing a prank on a sad middle-aged man.
• Burrello Submarine – The Enigma of Casper House: a friendly ghost who has never had any social interaction must try to adjust to life in a haunted house that eats Japanese schoolgirls.
• Kris – The Lost Weekend at Bernie’s: Billy Wilder adapts Charles R. Jackson’s frank novel about an insurance agent who recounts through flashbacks about the weekend he and his best friend masqueraded around the Hamptons with the body of his older brother, a novelist who drank himself to death.
• David Halberstadt – The Black Dark Knight Rises: Batman (played by Martin Lawrence) accidentally travels back in time to the medieval period where he must fight Tom Hardy and save the kingdom.
• Burrello Submarine – Inherit the Wind and the Willows: Mr. Toad causes unrest in his small town for teaching evolution.
• Kevin – Andrei Rubber: Robert the Tire tracks down the great icon painter through the turbulent 15th century Russia, using his telekinesis to explode heads and horses alike.
• Burrello Submarine – GoldenEye Finger.
• Andrew Bowcock – Rosemary’s Baby Geniuses.
• Burrello Submarine – Wings of a Streetcar Named Desire: an uneducated abusive German angel haunts Peter Falk and gets drunk a lot in order to discover how to become more human.
• David Halberstadt – I Spit on Your Grave of the Fireflies: orphaned after the bombing of Hiroshima, a young boy and his infant sister maim, torture, and ultimately kill the American soldiers responsible for killing their parents.
• Kris – The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich: an unemployed puppeteer discovers a doorway that leads the user into the consciousness of a Czech surgeon and intellectual living in Communist Prague.
• Burrello Submarine – Allegro non Trop Gun: animated homoerotic airforce footage set to classical music compositions in this irreverent Italian action satire of Fantasia.
• Kevin – The Sum of All Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: Jack Ryan must thwart the plans of Hunter S. Thompson and his psychopathic lawyer to induce a world-wide acid trip by launching a nuclear bomb into an enormous bong.
• Kris – Grosse Point Break: Keanu Reeves plays and FBI Agent who is forced to simultaneously attend his high school reunion while working an undercover case in which he has to infiltrate a supposed unionized group of assassins lead by Dan Aykroyd and Patrick Swayze.
• Burrello Submarine – Quatermass and the Pit and the Pendulum: Vincent plays an ancient race of space grasshoppers going mad in a castle.
• Andrew Bowcock – ‎2001: An Office Space Odyssey: monkeys beat up a copy machine with a bone in slow motion.
• Burrello Submarine – Humanoids from the Deep Impact: taking advantage of the mass hysteria surrounding a comet heading straight towards earth some fish monsters decide the rape as many people as they can.
• David Halberstadt – The American Werewolf in London: gunsmith George Clooney is turned into a werewolf but spends most of his time just wandering the streets of London and talking to his dead prostitute girlfriend that only he can see.
• Kris – The Running Man on the Moon: the true story of how visionary entertainer Andy Kaufman was able to convince the world that one his character creations, an Austria bodybuilding champion, was actually a framed American police officer in a post-apocalyptic world forced to fight for his life on national television.
• Kris – Die Hard Day’s Night: while trying to escape from their manager and a horde of rabid fans on Christmas Eve, four moptop kids from Liverpool find themselves trapped in a Los Angeles skyscraper that is being held hostage by a group of highly organized German terrorists.
• Frank – Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom of the Opera: an opera house is bought by two jedi who have to find the weird sith haunting it.
• Burrello Submarine– Playtime Bandits: time-traveling dwarfs steal a map with all the holes of modernist Parisian society on it in this whimsically alienating movie featuring Jacques Tati as Satan.
• Burrello Submarine –The Good-bye Mr . Chips, the Bad News Bears, and the Coyote Ugly: an affable British professor decides to retire so he can divide time between coaching some rambunctious and foul-mouthed kids with their little league games and his questionable nightlife working a bar run by tough chicks during World War II in this epic spaghetti western.

Please add more in the comments section. The game is far from over. Anything from Sleeper in Seattle to Malcolm X-Men: the Last Tango in Paris. We want to hear it!